When people come to confession they often have something on their conscience which makes them feel guilty, ashamed or scared.
Most often this is something where they’ve lost control. Maybe it is a sin that is ‘below the belt’, something to do with food, drink or drugs, losing one’s temper, being violent etc. This sin of passion makes them feel guilty or ashamed or scared, but despite their strong feelings it may not be the most serious sin, or the thing which is keeping them from God.
The amount of guilt we feel or don’t feel does not necessarily reflect accurately the seriousness of our sin.
This is why an examination of conscience is so necessary. A good examination of conscience (and you can find them online or in any good Catholic prayer book) makes things much more objective. The questions simply take us through what we’ve done and what we’ve left undone so that we can come to confession simply, objectively and honestly. We do need to confess the things we’re ashamed of, but we also need to consider the amount of guilt and shame we feel with some distance.
The dirty shameful thing we did may not be as serious an offense as the harsh word, the hardened heart or the lack of prayer or love for God which we don’t feel guilty about at all.
In many ways confession should be like a visit to the dentist. When you go to the dentist you don’t wring your hands and feel terribly guilty about tooth decay. Neither does your dentist make you feel bad or decide to drill without novacaine to teach you a lesson. No, you ask for him to examine you. He says there is tooth decay and he needs to drill and fill. That’s that.
Likewise with soul decay. You admit you have soul decay because of sin. The priest listens to your confession. (That’s like the examination) He gives you penance (that’s like the drilling) then he pronounces absolution (and the grace you receive is like that new filling)
Soul decay, hmmmm….I like your analogy, I’m going to use your great visual example when I teach about Confession to my third graders–thanks.
great anaolgy except oddly enough I hate going to the dentist but love going to confession. maybe it’s because I am assured of the preist’s compassionate ear when I confess and because my dentist likes to insult people’s dental hygene while he works on them. that reminds me I need to get a filling and a crown replaced. pray Fr Longnecker with the intercession of St Apollonia, I might be able to get a good dentist to match a good confessor!
Padre,Can you comment on the lack of availability of confession? My mega parish has 3 priests (one just passed away RIP), but only offers 1 priest in a confessional from 3-4PM on Saturdays. Plus, there is no organized line or pew to sit in while waiting, plus the church fills up for the 4PM mass while you wait so that you can be extra embarrassed when the congregants can hear you.I know priests have some busy schedules, depending on the priest, but I don't really understand why a priest can't cough up an hour per day or so to sit in a confessional. I mean, bring a book! Or meditate or something! Personally I often go to a Franciscan chapel downtown. With all the down & out sorts they work with I have no doubt that my sins won't be shocking! The priests there offer reconciliation several hours per day. Any thoughts?
I just made my first confession today,thanks be to God!I posted a great quote by Chesterton on my blog here: http://www.themathoms.blogspot.com .Your blog has been helpful for me to make the voyage from Protestant to Rome, and just wanted to let you know that your post was quite timely given my personal circumstances.Blessings!
Father, I really like the dentist analogy.
Off topic, I know but I thought you would be interested in Oakland’s new cathedral. I guess I have to confess I don’t like it much, and I wish Rome would lay down some hard core traddy rules on architecture sometimes. But the video is really cool and almost thaws me out on the whole thing. I can only imagine that the echo is really bad acoustics-wise and there would be no way to perform the mass facing the alter.
oops, here is the link to the Oakland cathedral video courtesy of Rocco:http://whispersintheloggia.blogspot.com/2008/09/in-oakland-liftoff.html
Congratulations Contraian! Welcome home!
Father-This is just what I needed to hear!Thank you so much.God Bless you
If you really want a root canal, include in every Confession the root of all sin:”I have failed to love as Christ loves.”Once you start thinking about that, you really do see how selfish you are.
The difficulty here, Father, is that what you regard as “more sinful”, i.e., lack of prayer, coldness of heart, is not sin, according to what I’ve read. The “dirty, shameful thing” can be confessed as a sinful deed, as we are taught because–just as you say–they are times we lose control, and it is those times we lose control that constitute our actual sin–since sin is indeed an act of *will*, not something that afflicts us without our own consent. But coldness of heart is not a sin. It’s a condition over which we have no control, and exactly because we have no control over it, it’s not a sin. I sincerely hope you reconsider your view for the sake of those who come to you for confession. If I am guilty of a flirtation with my friend’s husband, of cheating on my taxes, missing mass through sloth, etc., I need to confess and receive a penance. But if I have no love, if I feel estranged from Christ and prayer, if I have spiritual doubt–these are not deeds or acts of will, but conditions which cause me suffering. To receive chastisement and/or penance from you would only increase my suffering and worsen my condition. (I don’t think I’d want to go to you for confession for confession)
estiel, you’re reading too much into what I said. I was referring not to coldness or heart or even honest doubt, but neglecting the duty to pray, missing Mass, not paying attention at Mass, not paying attention in prayers, choosing to watch TV instead of keeping to one’s prayer discipline.All these are indeed sins of omission and they are things that can be corrected by an act of the will.
Thank you for clarifying.
A dear, old priest friend told me: “look, I’m not a doctor, a lawyer, a psychologist; there’s only one thing that I can do for you — If you’re not in a state of Grace, I can put you there.”Catholics no longer go to confession for many, many reasons. Some already cited here. Now a couple more: no more confessionals! Reconciliation Rooms lack only the couch! Face-to-face is not for everybody and an instantly produced flimsy partition does not solve the problem. Penitents are guilty and ashamed and the privacy/anonymity of a hushed, dimly lit confessional fits the bill — emerging from that gloom into the light powerfully signifies the transition from guilt to forgiveness, from death through sin to new life; from non-Grace to Grace.Bring back the confessionals please.–William
But you should “feel terribly guilty”, you need contrition to make a good confession.Contrition (from the Latin contritus ‘ground to pieces, i.e. crushed by guilt) is sincere and complete remorse (i.e. regret with a sense of guilt) for sins one has committed. This is why among other things it is good to pray the penitential psalms before making your confession to help excite the feeling of contrition in you.
I’m concerned because it’s not that the “tooth” is merely “filled” (there is still the cavity but it is filled up). The “tooth” is actually fully healed and restored, right?