The famous Liturgista Fashionista–Mantilla Amontillado has begun writing for this blog…
Listen hon, I’m getting down to business. I’m fed up with the lily livered middle aged priests in their day glo polyester vestments. Now I’m in town we are going to kick some serious…I mean do some serious make overs.
I didn’t go to school for four years and work my knuckles to the bone to get my degree in Ecclesiastical Garb of the Latin Church only to march into Mass on a Sunday and see Father Folkmass in a dirty old cassock alb with velcro fasteners. Geesh, he looks like a walking pile of mashed potatoes. And that broad stole he wears on top of his chasuble??!! The one with the grain and grapes on it? I mean how 1982 is that??!!
I say, if you’re going to be a Catholic look and sound like a Catholic. Throw out the polyester. Bring in polyphony. Those cheap see through cassock albs are surplus. Bring back the cassock and the surplice. Throw out the people of the parish parade. Bring in the procession with lots of brocade. Men should know their place: it’s wearing lots of lace.
Forget the reform of the reform. We’re talking revolution of the reform.
Here’s the bottom line fellas: You choose. Your zucchetto or my machete. Wear the biretta or I’ll get my beretta.
Hmmmm. Good post, but dark brown text on medium-brown background is a little difficult to read, n’est pa?
the background should be light tan. If you are using internet Explorer my new blog design might be messed up. My designer suggests either updating IE or using Firefox for better results all ’round.
Finally, a guest blogger I can like better than Todd!LACE IT UP!
Hysterical!
That. Was. Awesome!
I love this latest guest blogger. What does Mantilla say about chapel veils for ladies and girls?
Heheheh… I use Google Chrome.Posts come up on light tan if I click on them individually, but the homepage is dark, dark, dark…;-)
Yes, I would love to know her ideas about head coverings…keep her coming back.Maybe we should have some sort of bonfire for all those awful polyester vestments…I mean, yikes! the 70’s are SO OVER.
Hippie clerics and their “pastoral assistants”: Be afraid, be very afraid.
ROFL! Thanks! And…yes SIR! Or…uh Ma’am! FYI, I’m getting lines, looks like I’m reading entertaining graffiti on a horizantal slatted fence. I’m using google chrome.
Lent has many additional activities for the faithful. One of my favorites is the opportunity to visit the neighboring parishes’ Fish Fry’s. Gourmet heaps of cholesterol on plastic foam china. It is truly a feast almost too decadent for the liturgical season. At one, I spotted a young priest, winding through the tables, talking with his flock. But what caught my I eye; he was wearing a plain black cassock. As he past my table, I commented that I couldn’t remember seeing a priest wearing one of those at a social gathering since the fifties. “I assume you also have the black biretta to complete that look.” “Yep” he said “but I left it at the rectory.” “How long since you were ordained?”My anniversary is coming up in a couple of weeks.””Which one?””First”I now feel confident, that in my little corner of the world, Tradition has also risen!
(giggle-snort, sigh) If all the ladies in church looked like that my concentration levels would fall to new lows. Send Her our way and soon, PLEASE, tired of girls and women in jeans and ill fitting tight tops
I, too, like her better than Todd. His character is offensive to me, like much of the Curt Jester’s writings (no offense to CJ).
Given the abysmal sartorial taste of lay types in general, is there a male version of Mantilla out there?
Great post, Father! However, I must admit that I didn’t get it until my dear wife read it with a Spanish accent.Like the others, I hope that this guest blogger will make many more appearances.
Are you able to bottle it up and ship to us over here in Los Angeles? We need liturgical huevos.
Hi Father–I know I am a little late responding to this post, but this is something that bugs me, and that I have complained about to my Traddie male friends, so I thought I would say something.I have no objection to the parody part, or what you wrote in the text–I agree with most of it. I’m a Catholic young lady who covers her hair at Mass myself.Here’s the thing: the photo you use as illustration (I know where you got it, from the Wikipedia entry about Semana Santa in Seville)? My first reaction, and this is as a heterosexual woman, was “Va va voom!” That dress is SEXY. I am obviously not alone in this: I think “the Egyptian”‘s comment about his “concentration falling to new lows” if women came dressed like that to Mass is extremely telling. That dress clings to every curve of her body, and the neckline? I can only imagine how it must be for you men!I really, really, REALLY hate it when traditionalist men claim that they are trying to promote modesty, and yet seem more interested in making sure that women are wearing make-up and heels. I’m not accusing you of that, Father–I think you just saw that photo when you were researching the Seville thing, and it is a very arresting photograph–but it is extremely frustrating for myself and other Catholic young ladies whom I have talked to.After all, who is more likely to cause distraction to young men at Mass–the lady in the picture, or myself, wearing a cloche hat, no make-up, a nice sweater, and dress slacks? Yet to many RadTrad men, it seems to them, I am the greater “sinner” because I don’t wear skirts all the time!It was partly this hypocrisy that started my disillusionment with “RadTradism”, to the point where I now prefer the Novus Ordo when both are reverently celebrated (especially once the new translation comes out)… another thing that makes me anathema to some.
Father,I am a huge admirer of yours and will remain so…but this new blog template drives me nuts. It looks fine, except that the text is way too fat to the right, and that line that runs from top to bottom obscures the writing in a very annoying way. Just a suggestion, which no doubt others have made as well.I pray you are having a blessed Eastertide !