Guest blogger, The Rev’d Humphrey Blytherington is former Vicar of St Hilda’s, Little Snoring with All Saints, Great Snoring. He is a graduate of Plymouth University. He completed his studies for the ministry at Latimer Hall, Durham. He is married to Daphne and enjoys home brewing, model railroading and was, until retirement, an avid member of the Great Snoring Morris Dancers. He is now honorary assistant priest in the parish of St Oswald’s, Dagwood Bumstead in the Gloucester Diocese. He writes a weekly column in The Stocks the weekly paper of St Oswald’s Parish.

What ho lads! Good news this week! Let’s all drink to the happy couple! Its a grand time to be English–so proud of our Royal Family!

You know I was thinking how much this chap Prince Harry reminds me of good old Henry VIII. Both of them good looking chaps with ginger hair, both of them fond of the ladies, and both of them good red blooded Englishmen.

The only thing I can’t understand is why such a good looking young chap wants to marry that German woman who, I must say seems a bit long in the tooth. I realize that Angela Merkel is a powerful woman–being president of Germany and so forth. P’raps that’s the appeal. I don’t see it myself.

But there’s no accounting for taste, and if he likes an older woman I don’t see that it does any harm. Good thing the old girl is a Protestant. That’s the main thing, and I suppose she can always learn English once she gets settled over here. Still, I can’t see it. I mean to say, can you imagine that Merkel woman wearing a tiara and sitting down to tea with HMQ? She’s not awfully photogenic either is she? Never mind, I suppose if the Prince of Wales second in command can carry it off the German hausfrau will come around. It’ll be Beer and Bratwurst all around at the Buck House garden parties I expect!

What’s that you say Trevor?  It’s an American lass he’s marrying? Goodness gracious, why on earth would the Germans have elected an American woman as their Prime Minister? How extraordinary! I could have sworn when I heard it on the BBC this week that he was about to be hitched to the Merkel woman from the land of old Gerry. Now you say she’s American–and an actress too?

My word! But I suppose if they could elect Ronald Reagan as president there’s no reason why a Hollywood actress mightn’t be elected as Prime Minister of Germany.

What’s that? I’ve got the wrong end of the stick? Not the German woman at all? I see. But they’re not related? And the German PM’s not a Yank? Well that’s a relief in a way. You had me going there for a moment. Thought you were pulling my leg.

So Prince Harry’s to marry this American girl who’s no relation at all the the Germans? I see. I expect that’s better than the German PM. Worried about her I must say. So this Yank will no doubt be better, and as an actress I expect she’ll fit right in with the rest of the royals. They love dressing up and pretending to be someone they’re not.

On the other hand, do you think she’s going to be going around grinning all the time and saying, “Have a nice day!”? Can’t bear that sort of thing. In fact, come to think of it her being a Yank could be a darn sight worse than him marrying the Merkel woman. I mean to say, the track record of our royals with Yanks is not good. I remember Fergie getting into a scrape with that American businessman, and my dear old mother had no time for that Wallis Simpson woman who thought she would be the queen of England one day. No sir.

Well, I suppose we shall have to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Say. I’ve got an idea lads. We don’t really need Prince Harry here you know. What if we shipped him out to the US. He’d go down a bomb. They could make him the King of California.

Just the ticket!